gah i give up...i don't understand blogger =/.... back to xanga/LJ i go >.<.

tiramia or leonie w

i am that girl...

a bit late to join the bandwagon, but too interesting to bypass...(meme by mercermachine)

i am the girl who's 19, who's so much less than she would want you to believe. i am the daughter you almost didn't want, a dreamer, a listener in 3am morning phone calls.

i am the child that lingered behind after church on friday afternoons, wanting to wait for when god came down. i am the child who stood in front of david jones, glancing wistfully at the bear on the toy stand. i was that same child who cried when it disappeared.

i am the girl who topped her class through primary, fell in high and never got back up. i am the girl who wanted to be an archaeologist (because it sounded cool), a musician (because it looked cool), a writer (just because). i am the girl who wanted to be unique, only to realize that unique was just like everyone else.

i am the girl who sat on the kerb in the rain outside the club, too gone to remember which door would take me back in. i am the girl that leads a life separate to what her family knows of. the girl tired of leading that life. i am the girl who sits outside and chainsmokes her way through mentholed cancer sticks whilst you wonder why 'girls take so long to go to the washroom'.

i am the girl who grew apart from one of her best friends, only to realize too late that 'growing apart' might mean 'never again'. i am the girl who couldn't cry for you, until she was trashed and too drunk to remember. i am the young woman who couldn’t wait to grow up when she was a girl. i am the same young woman who now wishes she could be a girl again.

i am the one who believes you when you whisper 'iloveyou' at 1am outside her house, knowing you're leaving to go back home to your girlfriend. i am the girl who's ignored warnings from everyone about you, and the mistakes you've made and wrongs you've had in the past. i am the girl who believes too much in her heart.

i am the young woman who still believes in fairytales and happy endings. i am the compulsive liar. i am the one searching for reality whilst dreams create my merry-go-round. and in the end, i am the one standing in pouring rain, waiting for Life to run up the silent streets, find me, and take me away.

yeah, i am that girl. who are you?